Friend or Fairy
by Imp168
Summary: There is a new friend in the house, but is she really a friend, or is she a fairy?  Full summary inside. FHFIFArtemis Fowl crossover.  NO ROMANCE!  just 2 wonderful concepts smashed together! yay!
1. Chapter 1

**Friend or Fairy**

**There is a new friend in the house, but is she really a friend, or is she a fairy? Apparently there's a thin line in between the two, but only the individual itself can tell. Unfortunately, she can't remember anything, so the gang at foster's doesn't know whether to put her up for adoption, or to help her be hidden from the world to keep the hidden city of Haven a secret from the world!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. Eoin Colfer owns that. I do not own FHFIF. Someone else owns that one too. I own…stuff. But not their stuff. Just stuff.

Chapter 1 'Windex© Explosion'

"Bloo-oo!" Mac called up from the foyer of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. That is a place where imaginary friends go when their creators can't take care of them anymore.

"Oh, Mac," Frankie Foster cried from the landing of the huge staircase in the front of the house, "Thank goodness you're here!! Could you tell you're idiot that it's not ok to BLOW UP THE BACK YARD WITH COMMON HOUSE HOLD ITEMS!!!!

"Oh, crap, what's Bloo gone and done now!?"

"If I told you," sighed the red head, "I'd explode with rage again, and I just got calmed down. He's upstairs. Supposedly thinking about what he did."

The 8-year-old rolled his eyes, sighed, and trod upstairs. He passed the tall imaginary friend, Wilt, on the 3rd floor.

"Hey, Mac! What's up?" said the basketball loving friend distractedly.

"Apparently, _Bloo_ is what's up." Mac was burning to know what his best friend had done.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but don't talk to me about him right now," Wilt rarely got angry, so this was strange for Mac to hear him talk this way.

"Why?" he urged "What did Bloo do this time to make everyone so mad?"

"I'm sorry, but what he did is definitely not ok, okay?" with that Wilt walked off fuming.

Mac kept walking, wondering what evil scheme Bloo had put into effect today. He couldn't understand how he had imagined something as annoying as Blooregaurd Q. Kazoo. But what he really couldn't understand is how, no matter what, Bloo and he always managed to have a good time.

A few steps later, Mac ran into Coco. She was possibly the strangest friend in the house. Being half bird, half plane, all she ever said was 'coco'. Most people couldn't understand a word she said, unless they lived with her. Then they knew her language, or could, usually, guess.

"Coco, co," she greeted, "Co coco cococo?"

"Oh, you know, Bloo's gone and done something or other, _again_, and everyone's too angry to tell me."

"Coco? Co coco."

"You will?" Mac didn't know whether to be relieved that he would know what his friend had one, or apprehensive for the same reason.

"Coco co co. Coco co co co coco coco coco coco coco coco, cococo co cococo co, co coco coco co cococococo coco."

"HE DID WHAT!?" Mac was ready to kill now! He charged passed Coco and practically flew up the stairs to the room that Bloo, Wilt, Coco, and Eduardo shared.

He burst through the door.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, BLOO!!" Bloo sat calmly on the bunk bed playing, and failing horribly at, paddle ball. He looked up.

"What's your problem? Not even going to say hi to your best friend!" the blob was going to act all innocently, Mac knew.

"NO, BLOO, WHATS _YOUR_ PROBLEM!!" A vein stuck out from Mac's temple, a first for him. "Coco told me everything, Bloo! What were you thinking! Actually, I think the better question here is, _WERE _you thinking?"

"Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac...Mac…Mac."

"BLOO!"

"Mac, I think it's obvious I _WAS_ thinking, or else I wouldn't have thought up something so COOL!!" Bloo's smug smile turned into an excited grin, "I can't believe you missed it! I've only seen explosion like that in movies!!"

"But you injured, like, six imaginary friends!"

"Five." Bloo admitted, "But look out the window! The crater gives you a pretty good idea of how cool it was."

Mac couldn't help but look. The back yard looked like a train wreck, or, like it had exploded, which it had. It was still on fire in some places.

"Wow. I didn't know Windex© was so destructive!"

"I know!" Bloo was ecstatic, "Who'd of thunk it, right!"

"That doesn't excuse anything, though. Man, I wish I could've seen it!"

"I knew you'd feel that way, so I videotaped it." He pulled out a camcorder.

The explosion _WAS_ impressive. Like something off of 'Mythbusters'. Mac couldn't help being impressed, and envious of Bloo's ingenious mind. For the second time that day, he couldn't help wonder how he had imagined something as cool as Bloo was.

Something hit Mac then.

"I thought you said it only injured 5 friends."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, 6 people flew away from the explosion. I've never seen one of them before, so what's up?"

Bloo rewound the tape to where the explosion began, and paused it. Sure enough, there were six silhouettes flying away from the Windex© soaked toilet paper wad. One of which looked odd, even for an imaginary friend.

"Who do you think that is?" Mac squinted at the screen.

Bloo opened his mouth to speak, but Mac cut him off mid breath. "It's obviously not a ninja, monkey, galactic overlord, rogue librarian, or Abraham Lincoln. So don't even say it."

"I wasn't going to say any of that, but, now that you mention it, rogue librarian _does_ sound right."

"No, Bloo. No. Bad Bloo, heal!"

"Alright, alright, sheesh. But I _was_ going to say fairy." Mac looked exasperated. "Before you say anything, don't. I know it sounds crazy, but look at her!!"

"It does look like a fairy, I'll grant you that, but fairies aren't real, Bloo. Neither are galactic overlords."

"Man, you're so closed minded! Anyway, fairies are real. Frankie told me so."

"Why would Frankie, of all people, tell you that?" He looked out the window again. Down in the former back yard, Mr. Harriman was trying to convince a vivacious Goo to imagine the backyard as it had been as a temporary replacement, and obviously, it wasn't going well. Just then, Frankie stormed out of the house and started yelling at Mr. Harriman.

"Becaa-aause, its tru-ue! Duh!"

"Hey, come check this out, Bloo!" Laughed Mac, momentarily distracted, "Frankie's beating up Mr. Harriman!"

The excited blob rushed to the window to see the spectacle. Mr. Harriman must have struck a nerve with Frankie, because she was chasing him in and out through the bits and pieces of backyard Goo was imagining. Goo, as usual, was yapping her head off, oblivious to the fact that all the people who had been listening to her were in a huge brawl 20 yards from her. Bloo opened the window for further enjoyment.

"And when I catch you," Frankie was on one of her death threat fests. "You'll wish my grandma had never imagined a tongue for you, because I'm," the rest of her words were drowned out by the hysterical laughter of Mac and Bloo.

Now, 10 feet away, Goo was rattling on about what the garden should look like.

"Were there begonias in it, because I don't know what begonias look like, and if I don't know what they look like, how am a supposed to imagine them, because it'd be stupid for me to imagine something I've never seen, because how am I supposed to get it right, I mean duh, totally duh, because it might turn out to have scary teeth, or twenty foot arms, it could be carnivorous, or…" a stream of imaginary flowers was popping up behind her, and, of course, she didn't notice, because she was _Goo_.

"… And ones with pink polka dots and bat wings. But why would a flower need bat wings, huh, I mean, they're kind of rooted to the ground, and if it came un-rooted, then it would die, unless it was a magic…Hey, badger! Frankie!" Goo finally noticed that her audience had been fighting for quite a while and hadn't heard her speech. "Hey, you're not listening, and if you're not listening, then why am I talking? It's like I'm talking to myself, all crazy like, and I'm not crazy, so you not listening makes me look crazy, and I'd like you to stop making me look crazy… Hey, you're still not listening…"

Mac looked at his watch. "WHOAH! Is that really the time! I was supposed to be home 10 minutes ago, and now I'm goanna be late! See ya tomorrow, Bloo. I'll spend the whole afternoon with you to make up for today, okay?"

"O.k. Mac, but-"

"BYE!" Mac called over his shoulder from half way down the hall.

Truth was, he didn't have to be home early today, but he had had the sudden urge to get out of there ASAP. But when he got home, he wished he hadn't rushed out of Foster's so quickly. In fact, he wished he hadn't left at all.

**A/n: yes, I know Windex© doesn't explode. It's not even flammable. But this makes the story even funnier XP. By the way, it needs to be as funny as possible; the next chapter gets pretty serious.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2  
**

Disclaimer: Hey, guess what? I probably don't own most of this stuff!

When Mac got home, he found that, gloriously, he was the only one there. His stupid older brother, Terrance, was probably with his guidance counselor, and his mom was probably on her way home from work, just to change and go off to some other odd job to help pay for Terrance's juvie trips.

He had just settled down to watch TV, when his mom burst thru the3 door, not even saying hi to him, heading straight to her bedroom to change for her next job. She came out a few minutes later in a grey janitor's uniform.

"Hey, Mike." She said distractedly.

"It's Mac, mom." She had been doing that lately, forgetting his and Terrance's names. The only reason they could think for this was that she just didn't care anymore.

"Oh, I knew that, sorry Mac. Anyway, Mike, I have a few extra minutes before I have to leave."

"So?" Mac was confused. _I wonder if she's actually going to ask how I'm doing._ Mac discarded that thought as soon as it came to his mind. _The last time she had a chat with me is when she made me get rid of Bloo, and that was for her own image. She didn't want everyone to think she was 'raising' a baby. _

"Mike, I know it's been hard for you for the last couple years," was she actually going to surprise him? "What with your brother being such a butt head," Maybe, just maybe, "but you know he's not allowed to use the appliances, so could you make yourself and him dinner?" Of course she wouldn't surprise him. She never did.

"Make Tracy's dinner and I'd be sooo grateful. Thanks Mike." And with that she walked out to her next job.

"It's Mac." He whispered long after she'd left.

Two minutes later, Terrence walked through to door, looking entirely annoyed. Mac was still looking after his mom.

_She can't even remember my name, and she still wants me to make dinner for this creep_

Terrance saw Mac staring in his general direction. "What are you lookin' at, twerp?"

Mac looked away, making a non-committal noise in the back of his throat.

"I couldn't hear you, _Mike. _I said, what are you looking at?"

"I said," he made the same non-committal noise, "_Tracy_!"

Take that back, twerp!" he demanded, standing up from the sofa he'd been slumped across.

"No." Mac said simply.

"I said," growled Terrance, "take…it…back!"

"Make me."

That's when Terrance pile-drived Mac onto the floor. Mac didn't even know what hit him. He looked up at his older brother dumbfounded. _He's never pile-driven me like that before!_

Terrance was smiling widely, but he had a murderous glint in his dark eyes. That's when Mac ran. He didn't look back, but he could hear the teenager in pursuit.

Mac didn't go for his normal safe spot, his bedroom. In all the closets there where attic accesses that Terrance knew how to use. Anyway, he could easily jimmy the lock. No, he went to the only room in the house that had an actually good lock, his mother's bathroom.

Looking back, that was a bad choice. He'd been using that sanctuary to get away from Terrance lately, and Terrance knew he would, and as Terrance liked to pretend, "He aint nobody's fool!"

Mac locked the door as fast as he could, and backed away. _Whoa, _Mac thought, _he didn't even graze me! I must be getting faster, or the big ape's slower._

Terrance didn't need to go any faster that to make sure he did go into the bathroom. He knew where Mac was going, and he was ready for him.

"Hey, lil' bro," Terrance sounded calm, which should have tipped Mac off right there, "Your about to get the surprise of your life."

"What ar-" he was cut off by a hand put across his mouth, and another around his waist. The mammoth arms squeezed him tight. Terrance had planted some of his goons around the house! A tall girl with black hair steppe out of the shower and unlocked the door. Terrance was standing there with another thug of his. This one short with red hair and a death grin on his face.

It was four against one, and Mac didn't like those odds. He seriously thought he was doomed.

**A/n: in the next chapter, I try to keep as much violence out as possible for those faint of heart, but the violence was necessary. You'll find out. Don't stop reading, though. It gets happy/funny again! I promise!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 'A Sincere Apology'**

There was nothing Mac could do to forego the beating his life. The thug holding him squeezed all the breath from him, nearly squashing him, doing enough damage by himself. The other three pile-driving him, and hurting him in every other way they could didn't help.

_The air depravation must be getting to me._ Mac thought this because just outside the window, there was a small figure floating. Just floating there. The figure was too small to be an adult, but had the wrong portions to be a kid.

"Fairy," he mumbled the word so it was incomprehensible. It was the last consciousness had.

_Fairy, fairy, fairy… _it spiraled down through his consciousness, and then, everything went dark.

Mac woke up to incessant laughter coming from the living room. He lay in a heap on his bed, where they'd obviously thrown him. He ached all over, almost like he'd been put in a trash compactor. Something important seemed to tug at his memory. His head hurt too much to recall.

Suddenly a distinct voice corkscrewed to the center of his headache.

"I'm goanna see if the twerps awake so we can pound him some more."

As the door opened, Mac pretended to be unconscious. It wasn't very hard, since he wasn't even half awake as it was. A beam of light from the hall fell across his back.

Terrance crept over to the bed quietly. "You awake, lil' bro?" Mac was surprised out of his cover. He had heard actual sincere _concern_ in his brother's voice. He quickly closed his eyes as to not make Terrance notice. But Terrance had noticed Mac's flinch. "I'm sorry, that was one of the stupidest things I've ever done, and I'm sorry." The statement alone was almost enough to make Mac pass out again, or at least make him fall off the bed. Mac didn't say anything, and Terrance turned around and left, whispering "Sorry,"

It was that, more than anything that made Mac run.

**A/n: SEE! I told you the violence was necessary! He had to find the fairy somehow. Anyway, Cheese is in the next chapter, so there is a light at the end of the depression! But, I can't guarantee it will be happy forever!**

**Dun, dun, dun**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 'the Decision'

Mac got out of the house easy enough. He had tied his bed sheets together to make a rope, and then he ran. He ran to the wooded lot not too far from his building. He sat at the base of the innermost oak, where he promptly put his head between his knees to calm down.

The cool night was soothing his pounding head. Not too far away, his neighbor's imaginary friend was being his usual stupid self.

"GOTTAGOGOTTAGOGOTTAGOGOTTAGOGOTTAGO…" Cheese was the stupidest imaginary friend that Mac knew. Running in circles, he did look pretty comical.

Suddenly, a small hand touched his shoulder. Mac jumped. It looked like the same creature that had been out the bathroom window.

The word came back to him. Fairy…

"Could you help me?" the creature asked.

"What," Mac was a little scared. "I…I don't-"

"Please!" the creature didn't look threatening; she looked positively harmless, actually. "I don't know who I am. There was an explosion, and-" She cut off, lost for words. Her voice was small, abnormal, as if _human_ wasn't her first language.

"Come with me." Mac could think of only one thing to do. And that was to go to Foster's, and turn her in as a friend.

**A/n: Mac's sooo cute when he's depressed!**

"FRANKIE!!!" Mac called as soon as he entered through the door.

"GOTTAGOGOTTAGOGOTTAGOGOTTAGO…" Cheese had followed them all the way there. His obliviousness was actually kind of comforting.

"What do we have here?" Mr. Harriman came out of his office that was to the right of the big double doors.

"I found her out in the Oak by my house. She doesn't remember much, just an explosion." Mac was always a little nervous when he talked to the chairman of the house, so he said this looking at the floor.

"A good specimen indeed," said the giant imaginary friend who had been imagined by the founder of the house when she was a little girl. "I think she'll…Good grief, Master Mac, what happened to your face?!"

"Wha-" he hadn't looked at himself in a mirror before he had left. He knew his eye was swelling, but he didn't know how the rest of his face looked.

"Hey, what's happening guys, I…Mac, your face!?" Frankie walked in from the kitchen door. She was still wiping her hands off with a dish towel when she had notices the unsightliness on Mac's face. "What happened? Mac it looks like you've been put through a shredder!"

He touched his face. "Nothing, but…"

"Frankie, you always overreact to trivial things," Bloo said coming down the stairs, "He's fine, silly, why do you always-YIPES!!" Bloo saw Mac's face at that moment. "What have you done with Mac, you hideous beast? Go back to the void from whence ye came!!"

"BLOO, it's me!"

"But, your face…"

"...Is hideous, I know, but there are more serious matters than my ugliness right now!"

Frankie noticed the little person standing behind Mac then. "Oh, my gosh!"

"I know, as I was saying, quite a good specimen indeed." Mr. Harriman didn't like being cut off in the middle of one of his evaluations.

"Specimen," Frankie was confused, and suddenly comprehension, followed by anger flashed across her face.

"Mr. Harriman, could I have a private word with you in your office." Fake sweetness was laced in Frankie's voice.

"But, see here,"

"Now, rabbit!" Annoyance was quite clear on her face.

Frankie grabbed Mr. Harriman by his ear, and dragged him off to his office.

In Mr. Harriman's office Frankie and Mr. Harriman were discussing what to do with the small newcomer.

"I think we should put her up for adoption immediately!" Mr. Harriman always took the 'practical' side, as he saw it.

"Are you crazy? She's not a friend; she's a fairy, stupid. You know the rules! We can't expose the fairy world to the human world! That would cause a cross-species war!"

"Miss Francis, I'm quite sure I know the rules, and I'm also quite sure that she is not a fairy! She would have told us, or more likely, stayed out of Master Mac's way!"

"You heard what Mac said! All she can remember is an explosion! That's probably the one Bloo caused earlier! Remember the Windex©? She was probably shielded, but the explosion caused her to forget everything and become visible again!"

(What Frankie was talking about, shielding, it's from "Artemis Fowl". It's where a fairy vibrates at such a high frequency, that the naked eye can't pin down exactly where the fairy is)

"Miss Francis, you have the biggest imagination I have ever seen!"

"Ask my grandma, she'll know. But until we find out, we are NOT going to put her up for adoption, and that's final!" She stomped out into the main foyer where Bloo and Mac were talking to...Frankie realized that she hadn't even asked the creature her name.

"...And that's how Bloo came to stay here at Foster's." Mac was finishing up his story with a bag of frozen peas on his face. Wilt was standing near them. He had helped Bloo and Mac tell the assumed fairy the story.

"Well, Frankie," Wilt had noticed she was there, "I'm sorry, but is it ok if we give our little friend here the Foster's tour?"

"Of course it's ok, Wilt," she smiled at the little figure sitting in the armchair by the stairs. "She can have the room right next to yours that just opened up."

"Okay! Well, you're pretty acquainted with the main hall, so, let's go look at the rest of the house. It's a pretty amazing, and confusing place. I guarantee you'll get lost more than once..." Wilt's voice trailed off as he led the girl off towards the dining hall.

"So, Mac, what DID happen to you?" Now that the newcomer was taken care of for the moment, she had time to worry about the kid who was like her little brother.

"Yeah, Mac," Bloo said a little shakily, "Why does your face look like mince meat?"

"Terrance's buddies got bored, and needed someone to pound on. Since I was so convenient, I was the obvious choice." Mac wasn't about to release all the details of his night. "How bad _do_ I look?"

"Let's go up to the bathroom and get the blood off your face, and so you can evaluate the damage." Frankie was resigned to let him withhold any details he saw fit to. She knew he would open up to her sooner or later.

Bloo, on the other hand, wasn't going to let Mac go without relinquishing the juicy details. "No, seriously Mac, what happened? Was it a gala-"

"No, Bloo, it wasn't a Galactic Overlord! It was just Terrance and his stupid friends.

Bloo decided, like Frankie, to let it go for the moment, but Mac was in for a good pestering tomorrow.

**A/n: He, he! Galactic Overlord!**


End file.
